We live in strange times, which I realize is something of an understatement. But given the rarity of understatements in the current climate I am now a full-bore and unapologetic campaigner for understatements wherever, and whenever, I can find them.
For instance, I was amused to learn yesterday that the US government, in its unassailable wisdom, now has a plan to send a KN95 mask to every citizen in the United States. The masks are made in China, where the virus was also made, which is strange enough, but what’s even more absurd is that masks (KN95s, Medical Masks, Cloth, Visors, Garbage Sacks, Shoes, Buckets, Tyvek hoodies, et. al) don’t prevent the virus from spreading. We KNOW this, and yet we continue clutching at these baby blankets for some level of solace. Or maybe it’s more like the American Cheese challenge, which I saw recently on a Tik Tok video. I am not a subscriber but these things sometimes filter into my universe, and in this particular challenge parents are encouraged to toss a slice of American Cheese on a crying baby’s head. Because American Cheese is really just pliable rubber the slice sticks to the kid’s head and it stops crying. In the video it worked magically–every time–to get the kid to pipe down. Having observed and noted the many flip flops and backtracks and just plain false declarations spewing out of the US Government, and in particular that morally bankrupt and fraudulent Herr Fauci, and at the same time having tracked the general public’s recent tendency toward wild tantrums, it’s hard not to see this latest move as a slice of American Cheese being casually flipped, from the balcony–as it were–onto the foreheads of the Big American Cry Baby.
The Air Jordan mask is good for retail environments
Importantly, KN95 masks don’t stop the virus because they don’t filter the air you exhale—and as we all know by now–and despite Biden’s claim that vaccinated people “won’t get the disease,” even a fully vaxxed and boosted person can both catch and spread the disease. I’d love to follow the money on this, but who, honestly, has the time for that sort of investigation? We know masks are merely costuming, and yet Americans everywhere continue to slap a slice of American Cheese on their face and prance about, emboldened by some bizarre notion of being in control. The worst of them enjoy signaling to the world how much they care for their neighbors. That it’s utter hogwash no longer matters—what definitely matters is the theater of it all, because just as we have learned to mistake policy for law, we now routinely mistake movement for action.
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